sadness... good music... and books

I was going to tell you how I have been feeling a bit sad lately. Really sad actually. In fact, I cried last Wednesday night harder than I have cried since my grandmother's funeral. You know the kind of crying that leaves you exhausted and somewhat bruised feeling. Even after going to bed and sleeping for 10 hours I awoke the next morning still tender and fragile. I cried again... twice.

I am feeling a bit better... certainly I am not walking around weeping or anything. The problems are not completely resolved (parenting issues) but I am walking upright and going about my business. Smiling... laughing..working.. praying.. and still pondering all that is in my heart, and then when I got on this blog tonight to begin to tell you my story I heard my music. Can I just tell you how much I love my playlist. I do.. I really really do. When I pay bills sometimes I pull it up and then minimize it so I can work on the computer and hear "my" music in the background. I give a little shout to myself," I LOVE this song!!" and I sing along only to be filled with joy again as the next one comes on," I LOVE this one too!!" The kids just roll their eyes at me and patiently tell me that yes... I do know the songs... I picked them! HA!
They have no concept how truly "cool" this is. Back in the day of the cassette tape you had to fast forward to get to the song you liked. FF... stop... listen to see where you are.. nope, not there yet. FF... stop.. not yet... FF... stop.. too far.. Rewind.. okay.. there it is!! I can remember taping songs off the radio. This worked but you didn't get the complete song and you usually got some of the announcer. Playlist is like a commercial free radio station of only songs I love. It is so very cool.

Back when I was going to tell you about my sadness I was going to segue into how I deal with sadness... I read. Okay.. those of you who know me well know that I can be a bit of an obsessive reader but that is only amplified when I am sad. Think of an alcoholic on books. "Just for a few minutes more. Okay kids, we'll read history in just a minute.. I PROMISE."
So.. I have read three books already this month.. in the past week and a half actually.

First of all I read The Help. I loved it. Set in 1962 in Mississippi this story tells the tales of several women in the South during this era. Having lived in Louisiana for 12 years, I could HEAR the dialect as these women found their voice and were able to tell their stories of what it was like to be "colored" maids to white women. I am still aghast that people were treated this way just so short a time ago. The book is well written and easy to read.

Then I read The Penny Tree. This is a fluff book but it was enjoyable too. The story of a woman, separated from her husband trying to raise her two boys, one of which has a rare disease. (doesn't sound so fluffy does it). Anyhow... a secret admirer places several ads in the local paper seeking her out. The book unveils the details of how she ended up where she was and lets you discover her admirer just in time for a happy ending.

I then dove right into Eat Cake. Another fluff book... but ... this ones just makes me want to bake. This story is about a gal who is going through a rough patch and to cope...she bakes... and she describes her cakes in much detail. I am telling you... I am going to make me some cake.. and soon. I made a cheesecake this past weekend for a get together we had with friends... and I will be making another one for my dad's birthday... but ... this book had recipes in it and I plan to make a lemon cake real soon!! She also made a sweet potato cake with raisins soaked in rum. I don't have any rum... but doesn't that sound good!! I bet I could soak them in apple juice. I am telling you ... I really just want to bake.

Which will NOT help me lose 5 pounds before the play. Yes... I am at it again. The big news is that I am NOT playing a fork or a villager this time. In the last performance I had 1 line. (and I sang that... with someone else!) All of my stage time was singing with many other people. This time I play.... are you ready for this??? a MOM... married to an engineer. I have many more lines than 1 (about 120) but I don't have nearly as many as Katie. Katie and I are in Cheaper by the Dozen. Not the Steve Martin version but the original based on the book by the Gilbreth kids.

So why in the heck was I reading??? instead of practicing my lines?? I know, I know. And here I sit typing to you good people. But, rehearsal went well tonight. I will practice a TON tomorrow and will hopefully be off book by Friday.

I know what you are thinking, what about school. Well, it IS still taking place. Perhaps not as much as I would like... but we are definitely learning around here. Every day!

Alright, if you have stayed with me this long.. Bless you!!
We'll chat more soon!