random thoughts on love

Okay... so I have read over the course of the past few years, some disturbing articles in magazines like Oprah and Cosmopolitan (okay... once in the past 10 years have I read anything in Cosmo but a few in Oprah's magazine)..
anyway, these articles are telling women that they need to be wary of the men they may marry and things to look for. Important (not) things like leaving the cereal bowl unrinsed on the counter. If he does then he is not marriage material. The article in Oprah's magazine told women to hold onto the thought that divorce was an option.

Just hear that and take it in.... hold onto the thought that divorce is an option.
amazing isn't it??? This is so foreign and disturbing to my way of thinking that I have been stewing on it for a while.

Recently, our Pastor, Fr. John Antony, was over and we were talking about a mini-retreat he is planning for married couples. One of his talks is on what heaven is like. He mentioned that marriage is preparation for heaven. I am not sure I will get this completely right, what he was trying to say... but he said that loving our spouses was preparing us for heaven. I believe that what he was trying to say was that the unconditional love we have for our spouses is just a glimpse of how much God loves us. Marriage is an opportunity to practice perfect love. (notice the word practice here!) He also made some comment that we wouldn't have romantic love for one another in heaven.. that it wouldn't matter... I am not that evolved yet I guess because I can't imagine not loving Brian as I do and having him as my partner.

I have known for a long time that Love is the answer. I may have even written about this before. Truly.. we are here to love one another. But that is too simplistic. We love ice cream. We love going to the circus. When we say LOVE we think of something warm and fuzzy. Yes... that is love. But that is not the love we are called to.

When you are young and you get butterflies in your stomach when you see someone walk by.. you think you are in love. That is attraction. It can be powerful. And fun stuff. I crushed on a bunch of boys that I never even hardly spoke to when I was a young girl. Still... I "loved" them.
You've heard is said before that love is what is left when ,we'll say, attraction wears off.

Love, the real deal, means sacrifice, service and surrendering. That is the kind of love we are called to. To practice with our spouses, our parents, our children, our siblings and friends... the mean girl that says you look pregnant when you aren't!

Almost... every time I have had a disagreement with someone in my family, what they really wanted and needed was love and attention. Plain and simple.

So.. instead of having articles in magazines telling us that if he leaves out a bowl or dumps whiskers in the sink... that we should leave him. We need to be hearing that yes, sometimes you will drive each other crazy, but that is when you have to love each other more. You can CHOOSE to love each other more. We made commitments to each other. We agreed to live in union with one another. To be married means you will compromise. That is what I want my children to know. That the wedding is just the beginning of a lifetime of marriage. Prepare for the marriage. I am so blessed. I have heard everyday for almost 17 years that I am loved. That is powerful and affirming. Doesn't mean we don't both do things that drive the other batty... but at the end of the day we are together.

The same goes for all of the people you love. When you truly love someone you will sacrifice for their benefit... out of choice, you will serve them because you love them and surrender your will... (at least sometimes) for the same reason. That is how we are to love God. We get to practice on each other. Preparing ourselves for Heaven and in the process finding a little heaven on earth.