Invisible Mother

My Mom sent this e-mail to me. Hopefully I am not violating any copyrights by adding it to my blog. I don't see any author to credit or contact... but I loved what this had to say. Perhaps it will resonate within you too.....

Invisible Mother

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response,

the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the

phone and ask to be taken to the store.

Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?

Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking,

or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the
corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible.

The invisible Mom.

Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this?

Can you tie this? Can you open this? Some days I'm not a pair of hands;

I'm not even a human being.

I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer,

'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.

I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the

eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -

but now they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again.

She's going, she's going, she's gone!

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return

of a friend from England .


Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going

on and on about the hotel she stayed in.

I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well.

It was hard not to compare and to feel sorry for myself.

I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe .

I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her
inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what

you are building when no one sees.

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book.

And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths,

after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great

cathedrals - we have no record of their names.

These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.

They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.

The passion of their building was fueled by their
faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral

while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam.

He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving

that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.

And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place.

It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte.

I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.

No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on,
no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile
over.

You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now
what it will become.

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction.

But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.

It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness.

It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.

I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder.

As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see
finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.

When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend
he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals.

We cannot be seen if we're doing it right.

And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Figuring out this picture thing

Okay.. so we are uploading pictures from Photobucket and we are having some technical difficulty.
Having said that, Bekah wants me to assure you that Photobucket is VERY user friendly. You can really play with your pictures and pop your pictures onto other bodies etc.. (She has one of me and Patrick Dempsey!) We will try one more time to get a picture of the shoes.

The Girl

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So.... for Bekah's birthday we did her all-time favorite thing... Shoe Shopping!
She very happily came home with a trendy little pair of boots and a pair of "Penelope" shoes.
(If you were able to see Penelope, she wore these very stylish maryjane heels).
My girl is very happy. We had fun and Caleb, the only boy to go with us, was a trooper!

Struggling

I am struggling.

I had a long, whiny list of all the areas I am struggling with... but who wants to hear that?
I don't want to hear it and I am the one typing it.. So... enough, forget it.
Instead I choose to be thankful. I am making a conscious choice NOT to be whiny. I choose the be thankful for my wonderful friends. I choose to be thankful for my wonderful family. I choose to be thankful that I have a computer on which NOT to complain on. I choose to be thankful that I don't have to turn that last sentence in for a grade as the grammar is questionable!

So... perhaps tomorrow I can post something lovely... but for now, know that if you are reading this.. I am thankful for you! (and I will be even MORE thankful if you leave a comment!!) ha ha ha

Masks

Katie

Me
Noah
Bekah
We are continuing our study of famous artists and the methods they use.. but our first art project of the year was simply to make a mask. We had this roll of tinfoil that was out with the
grill, it was kept underneath in the cubbie, but due to moisture had developed a nice patina finish. It was no longer food safe (I don't think...) so we had this whole roll of metal to work with. I wish you could see the detail on Katie's mask in particular as she did some embossing on her foil (as did I).
We had a lot of fun and I thought the kids were pretty creative. What a luxury to have this "ruined" roll of foil to play with. We have made a couple of neat things. What fun!

Country Girl?

I am a country girl. At the very least, I am a small town girl. What I am not is a farm girl. True, when I was younger we had gardens and canned and froze lots of vegetables. This was definitely the case until I was 12 and we moved south to Louisiana. Even though we lived in Bossier City for several years, I have always thought of myself as a smalltown country girl. I was so pleased to move to Siloam Springs. I am thrilled that Brian has embraced small town life. He comes from (gasp) the city. (North Little Rock)

When we moved from northern Michigan to Louisiana when I was 12, I remember driving through Little Rock. We thought the skyline was enormous!

All of this is to tell you about what I have been doing the past couple of mornings with my son, Noah. We have been driving to the farm of a friend to feed their pigs while they are in Minnesota for a funeral.

The pigs are both girls, Mary and Chiquita. They are , I don't know, upwards of 60 pounds I would guess, probably about 70-80. They stand almost to Noah's waist.
If you are a farmer and do this kind of thing all the time... please forgive my naivety.
For those of you who don't... you can picture this maybe??
We go in the morning and mix the food in a 5 gallon bucket. Noah has to scale the pen and heft the bucket over so he can go and dump the feed in the bowls in the pig pen. These pigs are hungry and friendly. They nibble at his shorts and he has to literally shove them out of the way to try and get the food to the pen. They try to eat the food out of the bucket as he is trying to pour it. My job is to throw marshmallows at a distance away and try to keep the pigs busy so that Noah can get in the pen without being knocked over. This morning we brought apples off the ground from our tree (to distract the pigs) and Caleb to throw the marshmallows so I could help heft the bucket over. (Noah barely made it yesterday... and their pen is VERY muddy.) Well.. we were only somewhat successful in our distraction techniques, but happily the pigs are fed. (and sunscreened, they get burned and so get treated!)

It is a really neat experience to have with my boys. Noah takes his job VERY seriously and follows the directions given to the letter. (I always KNEW he could even if he doesn't always show that around here!)

So we have a few more mornings of helping out at the farm. Noah said he likes it. Who knows??? Maybe someday he will be a gentleman farmer. I am just enjoying the adventure with him.

Memories

Why is it?? that I can remember the words to bazillions of songs (at least some words to bazillions of songs... I do a lot of humming too) and I can't remember what I am supposed to do next?
I truly TRULY forget things. I have a good memory for events and things that have taken place but if you ask me to do something, I will tell you yes, of course, and then completely forget. (Not maliciously or intentionally, but forgotten none-the-less) until later when it hits me like a ton of bricks.
I have to make lists to remember ANYTHING... but I do remember the words to songs.. specifically to the songs on my list here. I have had so much fun making a playlist. I keep thinking of songs to add. Brian was even helping out this weekend. I feel 16 again when I hear some of these. Being 16, that I CAN remember!
If you want to make your own playlist... go to playlist.com and just follow the instructions. It really is a lot of fun!
I want to keep blogging just so I can hear my songs... tee hee! Good night girls.

The Shack

This morning I read the book The Shack. This "novel" reads like a non-fictional account of a man who has an encounter with God. The main character has a difficult childhood, to say the least, and then suffers the tragic loss of one of his children. He is angry and depressed (understandably) and feels distanced from God. He then has the opportunity to spend a weekend visiting with the persons of the trinity. What he learns is enlightening and encouraging and very thought provoking for the reader.

The message that I got from the book is that we are called to Love and to Serve. This is not a new message to me. I have believed this for a long time. Knowing this and living this out everyday fully are two different things altogether, however.

This book challenges the reader to truly look at his/her relationship with God, their thoughts on organized religion and what it means to be a Christian. While I didn't necessarily draw all of the same conclusions as the author, I did find the book to "ring true" on many counts. I know I will spend the next several days mulling over several of the books ideas in my mind. I may even have to reread several passages for clarity.

Thanks Mom for suggesting this book. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Next up... Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

Oh to be a princess....

I have spent the most delicious day READING. The kids entertained themselves, the dishes went undone and I read The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory. I just finished The Constant Princess also by Philippa Gregory and I am hooked on her books.

I was looking for a little fluff to end the summer with. I thought perhaps a little historical romance.
What I found are books that are well written and extremely well researched. Certainly they ARE fiction, but they are definitely based on actual people and events and Ms. Gregory does her best to be as accurate as possible.

We just finished reading about Henry VIII in school and so I find these books most interesting. They are very detailed and are very plausible as to the character development.
What fun.

I DID take a little break and worked on some logic with the kids. We are to study logic this year and we started today by solving a mystery. I bought a book called one-hour mysteries. It provides clues and logic puzzles that you must analyze and work through in order to "solve" the mystery. It did indeed take us just a little over an hour.. and would have taken less if I would have had all of the copies run beforehand. I think the kids enjoyed it. I know I did. I look forward to working on more of these type of problems with them. A lot of deductive reasoning.
Katie and Noah enjoy this especially, although Bekah was a most willing participant.

Okay, it is extremely late and I must go to bed. Tomorrow I must actually do something USEFUL, although I DO have the next book... The Boleyn Inheritance. It all started when I told myself I could read while I walked in the morning (on my eliptical machine). I did... but then I never put the book down. I shall try again tomorrow... but only while I walk.

Do you believe I can do it? Or rather not do it?? (read all day) We shall see.

Books

Okay... the joke around our house is that Brian is going to make me a bed. See, we had a headboard way back in Florida about 9 years ago. We didn't love it and the mattress we had was so hard it was HORRIBLE, so when we moved we didn't bring it with us. When we got into our little house on Holly Street we went down and bought new mattresses and box springs and a frame but no headboard. What does this have to do with books?? Keep reading.

So.. I, of course, would like a headboard for my bed. My dear, darling husband replies,"I can make you one." First he cut down a tree. (no joke) Then he milled the tree into boards with the milling attachment on his chainsaw. Next he stacked the boards in our garage to "dry". They have been there for at least two years.

Here's the deal (you've been waiting right?). I no longer want the bed. I want more bookshelves.
I already sleep well at night. The bed won't really feel that different with a headboard (okay, I would love for my pillow not to fall of the top but after nine years, you adapt.) What I have decided I really want is more bookshelves for my piles of books. One on each side of the bed.
I can even put one of those little swivel reading lamps on the side.

I have been cleaning out my classroom all week trying to get ready for school. We have TONS of books. I said I would clean out and get rid of them. I did part with a few. But we are readers and we love books. I suppose at some point I won't need more bookshelves. I can't imagine it, but I guess it could be so. The girls asked what I would do with the classroom when they all went to college... I can't really say. Perhaps by then one of them will want to live down there in the "apartment". I don't know. I suppose I will eventually part with all of the curriculum.. but not the classics. Not the friends I have back there on the shelves. I hope to read and reread everything I currently own and of course there are so many more out there. I don't have enough hours for all of the books I want to read.

So... I have told Brian to skip the headboard and make more shelves. He of course embraces ANY wordworking project (at least in theory). But I believe we already have the wood for this one!

A Guinea Pig

Well... if you would have told me that we would have multiple animals in our home.. I would have told you that you were crazy! and yet... tonight we drove to Fayetteville and purchased a Guinea Pig for Katie for her birthday. The pig's name is Sadie. She is sweet.. as sweet as a large rodent can be. She truly is cute and Guinea pigs are supposed to make very good pets. We will have two living areas so that we can take her down to the classroom and she can also be at this end of the house in the evenings with the family. I pray she adjusts well to the cats. Right now we also are dogsitting for Tyson... my brother's lab/boxer mix. (Just til my folks get home, then they get him back until James returns for him.)

At any rate, this is many more animals than I ever thought possible in one Karp household. Four kids and three pets... whew! (plus Tyson)
I am going to let the dog out one more time and go to bed.

Ooooh It's late!

It is WAY too late and I am up and working on .. what else?? School stuff.
I am trying to lay out some plans for the year. I am working on pacing. I have a software program that will help me keep records. Those of you who know me well know how much I HATE paperwork. Loathe, detest, abhor... paperwork. I am quite prepared to pay the bills because I HAVE to do it. I am qualified. But... I don't seem to be able to maintain much beyond that. Will a magical program do the impossible??? Develop in me a bit of self-discipline?? Methinks not.
Still, it does produce a rather grand looking transcript so I will at least use it for my gradebook whether or not I use if for planning remains to be seen... (who am I kidding?? I will use it for grades and transcripts... NOT planning. I am a paper and pen kind of gal. I LOVE notebooks. Especially decorated ones.

Now that would be fun... decorating all of the kids notebooks. I bought a ton of 5cent ones at Wal-mart. TONS. hhhhmmm
Well, anyway. For now I am off to bed. Tomorrow is another day!

Meme

Okay... my friend Ann did one of these and as it is late on a Sunday night and I can't really think much I thought it might be fun to do this "meme" list. Here goes....

What were you doing ten years ago?
Ten years ago my girlies were one and three and we still lived in Florida. Brian worked at a little company called Sims Machine and Controls. I was staying home and at this time of year I think I was just about to be pregnant with Noah!

Favorite Snacks?
I love salt. I CRAVE cheddar and sour cream potato chips although I have sworn off of them several times over the years. I keep trying to quit. I like any salty snack though. I can pass up sweets (although I enjoy them too) to eat salt!

To Do List
1. Exercise (Bekah is telling me I always say this but never do it... still, it is on the list)
2. Clean
3. Get ready for school

what I would rather do..
1. Read even more than I do
2. Stamp!

Job's I have had:
worked at the mall: Miller's Outpost and County Seat
waitress, teacher, tutor
(these are the paying jobs here.. not the ones I do all the time)

Places I have lived
Ossineke, Michigan
Bossier City, Louisiana
Ruston, Louisiana
San Antonio, TX (0ne summer)
Spring Hill, Florida
Siloam Springs, AR

Bad Habits:
Too much time on computer
lack of exercise (that isn't a bad habit but more of a lack of a good one!)
PROCRASTINATE
I am too often late

5 Random things people may not know about me:

1. I play the accordian (okay most of you know that.. but it IS unusual-- weird!)

2. I like westerns and baseball movies (at least the more modern ones... some old ones too)

3. I would love to be published.

4. When I dream at night I am very athletic. I can't fly... but I can swing through the trees like Tarzan. I can also run very fast and jump very high. I am very, VERY agile and quick!

5. I love pickled bologna.

CD's I would take on my stranded island

Michael Buble of COURSE!
Dixie Chicks
Classical
John Denver


What I would do if I became a Billionaire

1. Pay off my house and finish fixing it up. I would PAY someone else to finish it so that Brian could just do the parts he likes like making the furniture.

2. Pay off my parents house and make sure that all of their needs are met.

3. Go on a family vacation somewhere. Probably Disneyworld because Caleb really wants to go there. I would stay right there in a hotel and be there for a week.

4. Send my kids to great colleges!

5. Billions of dollars??? I would move all of our family up here (brothers and families on both sides) and start a family business.

6. buy more books!

Okay guys... that is me... what about you??

Schedule??

Joyous asked for a discussion on schedules. Well... I am the queen of making lists and plans and then failing miserably. It is even more difficult now because of the skepticism of my teenager.
Still..I am forever optimistic and we try! We do more of a routine than an exact schedule. In the morning the kids are expected to get up, eat and get dressed. They each have a morning chore before school. Then I have tried having an lunch chore too.. but that doesn't always work. They help in the kitchen after supper and do whatever other chores I assign. Ideally they would just know what has to be done and do it... that works with ONE of my children. The rest of them have to be asked.. sometimes more than once I am afraid. We are definitely a work in progress.
Anyone else have something that works great??

At long last: Curriculum

Curriculum: the materials used by a teacher for the purpose of instruction. WIDELY available in every format imaginable from hands on manipulatives, trade books or text books to software, there is truly something for everyone.

To understand where I am coming from I must tell you that to me, curriculum is like a PROMISE in a box. Sort of like that new box of crayons that will let you be an artist... books can take you ANYWHERE.

In the spring, right about the time that I am trying to decide how much we will ACTUALLY accomplish this year, I start to think about next year and all of the promise that it holds. Next year, perhaps, I will get it right. Next year, will be THE year that everything clicks and our schoolroom is a remarkable place of learning. I will provide the proper setting and offer the best materials. Materials I have read about and researched; asking all I know if they have used them and liked them or found them lacking. I pore over catalogs, high light articles, make notes in the margins and build my castles in the sky.

You see, while I love to talk about curriculum, writing about it here puts me in a vulnerable place because I have to admit that I haven't used all I have purchased. Every year I go through this process carefully selecting exactly what I think will be the best for my children and yet.. we don't always complete what we start. I have TONS of books. If I stopped now and just used what we already have... I am sure we would be fine. But, like the new box of crayons, you know the ones with points? They write sooooo much better than the worn ones that are broken and the paper is torn. Or do they?

Well, here is my plan. I have been looking at what I already own. I am reusing as much as possible which is good. I AM getting some new things, but they are consumables or subjects that I haven't taught before. I have ordered Rosetta Stone Spanish. I also got several Mind Bender books and a course on introductory logic. I also splurged on two art books for an art appreciation course. FUN. I know that the kids will do the Spanish and that I will love the art books no matter what. We will do history together and I got some really great Mapskills books that are a bit challenging but are pertinent and useful. I use books from Beautiful Feet for history. We read aloud a lot and then the kids will all be assigned books to read too that will count towards history and literature. I am getting a Spelling program as I haven't really taught spelling. I hate memorizing spelling lists as I don't think that improves spelling in a poor speller at all... we have worked more on phonics rules and exceptions, correcting errors in what we write. But... I am going to give this a try. (They promise it only takes 15 minutes a day).

We are going to do a LOT of writing this year so I got myself a book to help in correcting a writing paper. One of the selfish best parts of homeschooling is how much we learn ourselves.

So.. I am still trying to get my ducks in a row. I am reading novels that will be required for my kids this next year. I am taking and making notes. I am trying to organize and repurpose my materials.

With all of this preparation and planning what I know to be true is this: whether or not we have finished every text that we have started we .. my kiddos and I.. are working together. We have been introduced to a lot of things! We have read a great many books and will read a great many more. We have done projects and made crafts. We have seen plays and been in them! We have cooked and cleaned (okay not enough, but some) together. We have volunteered our time and spent time with those we love. Our homeschool may not be perfect.. they (the kids) are so limited by their teacher"s strengths and weaknesses.. but I don't think that I have ruined them yet. I surely know that I wouldn't trade what we have for ANYTHING in the world.

Now it is time for me to stop daydreaming about how perfect my school may (or may not) be in the fall and spend my time enjoying my days with my kids. I want to stop looking for the PROMISE in new books and find SECURITY in the KNOWLEDGE that we have all we need
right here at home.

I even think that I will make a new life for that drawer of old crayons... melted and molded into new ones!

BLACKBERRIES

Well, yesterday morning I went Blackberry picking with a friend. Now this is not the picking I remember as a child. As a child we would pick wild blackberries which, quite frankly, you really have to work for. The bushes are very scratchy and prickly and you have to wear long sleeves in the middle of the summer to protect your arms. Still, we would pack a lunch and make a day of it and then, if we had time, we would go by the falls on the way home and get wet in our clothes! (as somehow it was never a planned activity and we never had our swimsuits)

Next we would go home and stay up late cleaning and preparing the berries to be canned. Nothing is better than canned blackberries (which is basically berries in syrup). On a cold Michigan morning, it was such a treat to be able to get a jar of blackberries to eat. We would have a bowl of blackberries and toast. They are WONDERFUL and are something I remember so well from my childhood.

So, when Rebekah called yesterday and asked if I wanted to go picking I didn't hesitate for too long. We went out to Taylor Orchards. This is how EASY it was. We drove right up to the bushes that are heavily laden with luscious berries and they practically fell into our buckets. No thorns, no scratches. In a little over an hour we had picked 24 pints of berries. AMAZING.

Today I will make freezer jam. I found the recipe to can them like we did when I was young, but as I had to PAY for these berries I am not sure I can afford to set myself up to can too. (Jars, lids, a canner or whatever that big pot is called). Still, it should be fun (to make the jam), it WAS fun (to pick them and EAT them. I probably ate a pint while I picked) and I am so thankful for the opportunity.

Hello

Hello!! It has been so long since I have written. But life is great here in Karptown. You may have noticed I changed the template of my blog. This is not what I want, but it will do until I can learn how to do this on my own. Who knew that I would ever be interested in designing something for the computer. I have a brother in law who is VERY knowledgeable and I may have to take a little class from him to figure things out.

So... yesterday we went to the movies to see Kit Kittredge an American Girl. It was fabulous. But the most fabulous part was that my girls (almost 12 and 14 ) and their friend (almost 13) all took their dolls! How incredible. It was so much fun. The boys even liked it though they may not admit it.

I still want to talk curriculum and that is coming soon... (sorry Mom). But until then just feast your eyes on my gorgeous creations.

Blessings to you all friends!

Oh and one more thing

Random thoughts on everything:

*I think I may change my blog layout. I don't want to lose my pictures but I don't like the gray background. I like the notebook paper but it would be better if I could add stuff to it.
Wendy, you totally customize your blog. How??

*Trish, I really liked reading about what you are doing. I like the way you write.
I have been having a lazy week. I was supposed to de-clutter two rooms this week, but I have been stamping and reading. My house is a WRECK. The kids are going a little bonkers and don't quite know what to do with their time. They have been playing a lot of piano. I unhooked the table and changed the living room around so they have no t.v. (only movies). Ha
I have a long list of want-to-dos and a somewhat shorter list of have-to-dos.
Now I just need to DO something on each list. I could read and stamp the summer away, but I don't think the kids will go for that. We are to go swimming tomorrow. We went to Koala park today for the first time since they have torn down the castle. The new equipment is very interesting and the kids enjoyed it. I do, however, miss the castle. It was very amazing.

*My brother is coming. Well, my other brother is coming from Montana and is staying at Mom and Dad's for a week. It will be great to see him.

*I really want to talk about curriculum. Is anyone really interested and up for that? I think I tend to get a little boring when I talk about all of my plans and dreams for school.

It is time for bed. Good-night

Stamping

We had a card swap tonight and it was great. I spent the better part of the last two days making cards and I had a great time. I love to stamp. I love the opportunity to be creative and make something. I love to work with paper because it is inexpensive and quick and easy to work with. I can see results very quickly and have something I can give to someone I care about. We had a great time. Thanks gals.

Finally... the beginning of Summer

I realize it is late to be saying this... but I am at last ready for summer to begin.
The kids have finished their camps. We have had a VERY successful VBS that is done! (Can I hear a big Wahoo here.) So... now I am ready for summer. I have eight delicious weeks laying before me with only my own whims and fancies to fill them. What will we do??

1. Swim. I have promised my kiddos that we will swim at least twice a week. Plus this gets me out to my Mom's to hang out which I love to do too.
2. Summer reading program at the library. My boys are the big readers this year... Bekah is too old and Katie has been too busy. I expect her to catch up though!
3. I want to craft and create. This is the year I actually make paper. I have talked about it for 10 years... this summer it becomes a reality. I have a few other projects too.
4. I want to clean and declutter my house. One room at a time~~ (that means two a week)
5. I want to catalog ALL of the books in my classroom.
6. I want to READ.... some fun stuff, some school stuff... I just want to read.

So.... first I will clean the mess my house has become after not being here for over a week to do anything. Then I will box up my brother's belongings. He and the mini-kids have moved on.
Then..... I will plan my days around doing the things on my list. Oh yes... and I WILL find some time for exercise in there too. That is, unfortunately, on my list... but until then.. remember my motto:
Tanned fat looks better than white fat! (it's true. Use sunscreen of course. but it IS true)

Word for the Year: BALANCE

I have a word for the year... or the season, or just one word to focus on until I feel the need to move on. Last year... (or so) my word was surrender. Not submit. There is indeed a difference. In fact,
we use these words to explain some discipline and respect issues to our children.

As children, they must surrender their wills and desires (I want to eat only cookies and cake) to our requests. (That they eat healthier foods too. for example) If they choose not to surrender their own will then we have the responsibility as parents to make them submit. (and can do so with the loss of privilege etc...)

To surrender your will is a choice. In a life of love and service, the chance to surrender comes along quite often. I haven't exactly mastered this completely, but I think I do much better at recognizing when I need to SURRENDER. Surrender in an argument when being right is not really what is important. Surrender my selfish will to stay up all night and read and instead go to bed so I can work in the morning. (okay, if Brian ever chooses to read this... I RECOGNIZE the need to surrender this... not that I always am successful. =P ) We are all called to surrender our own will to God's will. To surrender is not a weakness.... it is a choice and is thereby empowering. Still, it takes practice.

So... I have moved on to my new word. BALANCE. Balance is difficult. Balance is challenging.
Balance is as ever present as SURRENDER. How much is enough and not too much??
The opportunities for balance and the lack there-of....
family time? vs. the mountain of maintenance that owning a home takes
cleaning? vs. every other thing I would rather do... but I MUST get rid of the clutter! I keep thinking that will make things easier.
READING?, time on the Internet? EXERCISE (this I never do... but the mere thought overwhelms me. I can and should do SOMETHING... but I don't have to be a tri-athlete. Have you seen those commercials for P90X??? Somewhere between me and the people on those commercials.. that's my goal .. BALANCE.
Enough extra curricular activities to have my children enriched... but not enough to (literally) drive me crazy and keep us in the car every day.

BALANCE. That is my word to focus on for now. If you have achieved this in your life.. let me know how. I am an unstructured gal who needs structure. I have made every list and chart possible to help me get there. (Just ask Brian. ) They never last long. (Why?? WHY?? I am rebellious I guess. That goes back to SURRENDER though.) Does anyone else struggle with this?

Okay... so, what I can do right now is only what I can do today. Today. Today I can fold laundry and clean out my stamping room. For today that is enough.

I hope that today YOU have balance. Some work, some play and lots of love.

Thankful for:

I am thankful for friends. I am blessed BLESSED with good friends and family and people that I love and who also love me. My cup runneth over. I am constantly amazed, and humbled and am grateful that I have such wonderful people in my life.

I am thankful for beautiful children. Even though they fit in the above category.. they get a category unto themselves. We sang tonight and read the book Something for Nothing in our very bad Jewish accents. Good book. Great kids. Noah sang the alleluia over and over (it has two parts) trying to get it right.

Good books. I am thankful for good books. Books that teach and books that entertain, ones that make you laugh and those that make you cry. Most especially the ones that you read over and over and visit like a great friend.

Here is a not so secret secret about me. I collect reading lists. I make my own too... but I constantly gather lists about books... good books, great books, recommended reading lists. I have a whole binder full of them. I mark them and make notes. It is quite ridiculous really. Yet, still, I add to them. Someday... I will read them all (or most).

Where Have They Gone?

I am doing a lot of preparing for next year. I am trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I will have a daughter in high school. I will also have a boy "officially" in kindergarten. Caleb has done some work this year... but not regularly. Next year is the real deal. Four kids in school. Look at the cuties in this picture. Where are they?? Caleb wasn't even born yet.

In this picture the kids were doing a play that they wrote. How much fun is that?? They still do this kind of stuff. Of course, now, they work their own camera. Still... I can't believe how fast the time has gone.

High school. I swear I just graduated. I mean REALLY. It can't be over 20 years. But it is. (only ONE year over twenty for those of you who would believe me even older than I am!)

I remember my first week of high school. I got asked on my first date. (two actually) (My parents didn't let me go on either one... thank goodness). Guy somebody.. played tenor sax (remember Ann?) and Roger Stanley. Goodness.

Well... that is enough reminiscing for now. Mom says we have to live in the moment. This moment is telling me that it is late and I need to crawl in bed. Katie has an 8:30 doctor's appointment.

random thoughts on love

Okay... so I have read over the course of the past few years, some disturbing articles in magazines like Oprah and Cosmopolitan (okay... once in the past 10 years have I read anything in Cosmo but a few in Oprah's magazine)..
anyway, these articles are telling women that they need to be wary of the men they may marry and things to look for. Important (not) things like leaving the cereal bowl unrinsed on the counter. If he does then he is not marriage material. The article in Oprah's magazine told women to hold onto the thought that divorce was an option.

Just hear that and take it in.... hold onto the thought that divorce is an option.
amazing isn't it??? This is so foreign and disturbing to my way of thinking that I have been stewing on it for a while.

Recently, our Pastor, Fr. John Antony, was over and we were talking about a mini-retreat he is planning for married couples. One of his talks is on what heaven is like. He mentioned that marriage is preparation for heaven. I am not sure I will get this completely right, what he was trying to say... but he said that loving our spouses was preparing us for heaven. I believe that what he was trying to say was that the unconditional love we have for our spouses is just a glimpse of how much God loves us. Marriage is an opportunity to practice perfect love. (notice the word practice here!) He also made some comment that we wouldn't have romantic love for one another in heaven.. that it wouldn't matter... I am not that evolved yet I guess because I can't imagine not loving Brian as I do and having him as my partner.

I have known for a long time that Love is the answer. I may have even written about this before. Truly.. we are here to love one another. But that is too simplistic. We love ice cream. We love going to the circus. When we say LOVE we think of something warm and fuzzy. Yes... that is love. But that is not the love we are called to.

When you are young and you get butterflies in your stomach when you see someone walk by.. you think you are in love. That is attraction. It can be powerful. And fun stuff. I crushed on a bunch of boys that I never even hardly spoke to when I was a young girl. Still... I "loved" them.
You've heard is said before that love is what is left when ,we'll say, attraction wears off.

Love, the real deal, means sacrifice, service and surrendering. That is the kind of love we are called to. To practice with our spouses, our parents, our children, our siblings and friends... the mean girl that says you look pregnant when you aren't!

Almost... every time I have had a disagreement with someone in my family, what they really wanted and needed was love and attention. Plain and simple.

So.. instead of having articles in magazines telling us that if he leaves out a bowl or dumps whiskers in the sink... that we should leave him. We need to be hearing that yes, sometimes you will drive each other crazy, but that is when you have to love each other more. You can CHOOSE to love each other more. We made commitments to each other. We agreed to live in union with one another. To be married means you will compromise. That is what I want my children to know. That the wedding is just the beginning of a lifetime of marriage. Prepare for the marriage. I am so blessed. I have heard everyday for almost 17 years that I am loved. That is powerful and affirming. Doesn't mean we don't both do things that drive the other batty... but at the end of the day we are together.

The same goes for all of the people you love. When you truly love someone you will sacrifice for their benefit... out of choice, you will serve them because you love them and surrender your will... (at least sometimes) for the same reason. That is how we are to love God. We get to practice on each other. Preparing ourselves for Heaven and in the process finding a little heaven on earth.

What's going on?

Okay.. you people want to know what is going on in my big crazy household?? Here goes.

James and Dylan are sick. Presumably with the same cold that the rest of us have had... but they are feeling pretty punky with it. So... they are being pretty quiet.

Lexi and R.J. are at school and doing pretty well there. I am really proud of them.

Here in Karptown... we are trying to finish up school. We are working fast and furiously on the kids books. They are "due" today... so I don't think we will make the official presentation... but they will be done by next week so we can have our own little "reading" of the books. Yea! I told Bekah that they will NEVER get their own books until I die. That is sort of my paycheck. I love them. The girls each have written four and the boys each two. Very cool. It is really neat to see the progression of storyline and illustrations over the years. For Caleb's we use pictures which are just too cute. I really love these books.

Katie is about to get braces. Today I have to call our sweet Dentist and tell him that we are not going to use him... that we sought a second opinion and that we are going to use him....
The second opinion is A LOT MORE EXPENSIVE... but he is going to try and save her teeth, while the first guy wanted to pull 4. Katie is much relieved and is actually ready now. She will be in braces for about two years. Then she will wear a permanent retainer for another year, and then you are supposed to wear a retainer at least at night... for life. So... I am excited and can't wait to see her new smile.

Noah, who started wearing glasses in January, now needs contacts because of his sports playing. He is the goalie for his soccer team and has been hit too many times already. It is very interesting trying to put them in. His eyelashes are as long as Katie's and he is squirrely about me putting them in. Once in,however.. he is great. We have a fabulous eye doctor too... so that is really nice.

I guess the biggest news of the day is that we need new lateral lines in our yard. Does anyone know what lateral lines are??? NO?? I didn't either, until I needed them.

Well... lateral lines are pipes that stretch out from your septic tank. Only the umm... solid waste stays in your tank. The water waste is leeched out through these lateral lines to drain into your yard. (feel free to say ew gross here, I did). Evidently, that is the way it is done. Here is where it gets interesting though. You can't just order these puppies up. My sweet plumber guy... came to diagnose the situation. He did all he could... but evidently there was no cleaning out the existing ones... we need new. I said I would wear a shirt that says "I Heart my plumber" if he would try to move us up the line to get this done quicker. Evidently that isn't possible.
FIRST, we had to have independent contractors come and scope out our yard and dig a BIG hole and test the soil and decide where the lines can go. They can't go in our front yard over the existing lines. They can't go in our back yard because we have a separate septic tank back there for the back end of the house. NO.... our lines must start in the front and then run 85 feet to the back down the hill into the treeline where they will then have three 85 ft lateral runs. (Did I mention you pay for this pipe by the foot??) How about the fact that I will lose an entire section of trees in my back yard including the one the treehouse was begun on. Thank goodness it isn't completely finished. I guess we will move it further down the hill.

So... I know all of this because I payed the contractor man $475 and we haven't even begun yet. Now the county has to come out and approve the system. Then they will approve a permit and send me the plan at which time I call back sweet plumber man and begin the real work.

Did I mention we have 10 people living in the house??? The good news is that sweet plumber guy cleaned things out enough that we can still use our system. I can honestly say that we here in America take indoor plumbing for granted.


I feel this post is long enough so I will close.
Next time... How Brian fixed the Washer.
or maybe...How I found the Wordly Wise Vocabulary lists for free.... over 4000 words for my kids to learn!! Wahoo.

Can you stand the excitement??

one more thing

Hey Joy,
If you read this... send me an invitation to your blog again, I had you bookmarked, but lost it with the old computer, then I can read all about you!!
Hi Ann, talk to you soon,
Thanks for coming over Mom,
bye

I'm So Mad

I am so mad. And well.. upset. A woman I barely know at church is complaining and saying mean things about me.

Here's the deal. About two weeks ago, we were doing an activity in youth group... (youth group that I don't love but keep going to and planning for week after endless week). In the activity, everyone had to draw a character slip. Examples are: one year old child, professor, lawyer, captain, retired teacher etc...
All of the characters are on a boat and it is sinking. Only two thirds of the passengers can be saved.
We then had to decide who gets to live. The whole discussion is supposed to be about the sanctity of life. We had quite a good discussion I thought. I did, however, get some questions as you usually do from teens and pre-teens. One girl asked," If I have to stay behind on the sinking ship, can I ask someone to shoot me?" I tried to explain that dying of natural causes (the sinking ship) is different than taking your own life. One girl even came to the wonderful conclusion that if you took your own life then you didn't allow for a miracle. (good point). Well.... to help illustrate the point I tried to share what I believed to be the church's teaching on euthanasia. If you are gravely ill you can definitely have a DNR (do not resuscitate) order. Once, however, you start life support, you aren't supposed to pull the plug! Now, there are extreme cases where this is allowed... but the GENERAL rule is as previously stated. I didn't know exactly when it was allowed and so stayed with the general rule... hoping the children would think seriously that you can't TAKE some one's life.

ANYHOW.... I really didn't give this a second thought until tonight. Our former priest called to tell me he had spoken to this woman and that she was upset because of what I "taught". I still didn't think too much of it... until our current priest called to tell me how upset she was. Pullease... talk about an over reaction. But the worst part is.... she also said I looked pregnant.


I am sad... and mad and exhausted. Why she has it out for me, I have no clue. This does not endear her to me, however.

Ironically, I had a conversation with one of my youth group kids on Wednesday. This dear sweet girl is having a hard time with one of her old friends who is not treating her well at the moment. This particular friend has sort of moved on and left my dear sweetie behind.
My advice?? let your friend know that you are there for her if she wants to be friends and then move on. Be the sweet person you are and don't react in anger (thought that is the way you may want to react.) Be true to your own character.

There you go. My instant reaction is to be angry... raise a fuss. Quit!! Let HER run youth group, since she seems so amply qualified. Or....
recognize that whether she likes me or not... she is one of God's children, created in his image.
Regardless of how I feel about her at this moment... I don't have to react in anger. I can be true to myself and react how I choose to.... with LOVE..... okay... I am not there yet. I hear myself saying it, but I am not that evolved. How about, I just don't quit or be angry. I am not sure I am ready to show her love. I will try to still be nice to her kids though.
If she just hadn't made the crack about being pregnant!!
dear me.
well... now that you have had to listen to that, I guess I should go get ready for bed. Brian was at church tonight and so I have to take 8 children by myself in the morning.
yeesh.

Hey

How obnoxious will it be to write in RED???
We just got home from our Catholic Home School potluck. We are blessed to have 7 families at our church who are now homeschooling their kids. There are a terrific bunch of people and I had a really good time. The food was fabulous.
and I had TWO helpings which was wonderful... but I do want to lose weight because Brian's 20th reunion is this year... in September I think. He looks almost exactly the same as he did in high school. I didn't go to school with him but I would like to look nice. (especially if his old flames are there!!) I have always thought that he is cuter than me... but... I still have time.

I am ready to be back blogging. I have missed you my friends. It is tricky to fight the 7 children for the computer. We did get a new one... but we need Steven to help us run a cable so that we can hook them both up to the internet. I also need access to my printer again.

I am ready for school to be winding down... but we still have about 6 or 7 weeks. We are going to keep up better with some school this summer too. I am actually... gasp... going to make some lesson plans. Bekah doubts me, but Myth Busters has proven that you CAN teach an old dog new tricks.. and so there is hope. (she doubts me because I am a great planner but a not- so- great- follow- througher)

Anyhow... I am tired and Brian is already in bed. So... I will close now... but I will be back soon and I did promise those pictures of superheroes. =P

stuff and such

Well... it has been a while since I have written and I have much to say and nothing to say. I usually like to have something thought out and really a point to my blog and yet, tonight there is not one.
We have had a busy week.... sewer troubles (on top of the new water line we had run in December)
we are now okay with our output as well..

New monitor... our old one just died... we sort of eeked it along and did this little jiggle thing that Bekah figured out and then one day it just died.

Caleb turned five. He turned five on Thursday, but his party will be tomorrow. It will be a superhero party. I am not nearly as ready as I should be. When the girls were this age, I would stay up until quite late putting everything together. Now, I have the girls to help me. Caleb is at Mom and Dad's and so I will have some time in the morning. The girls worked on costumes tonight. It should be fun. I will post pictures later this weekend.

What superhero should I be??? I don't think I want to wear Wonder Woman's costume...
hhhhhmmmmmm
look later for a picture of what I come up with.

One more thing

Okay... so I didn't post forever and now I can't shut up...
but I like saying what I am thankful for. It has been MAJORLY busy around my house lately and it is EASY to feel tired and run down... so here are a few things I am thankful for

1. R.J. now lets me hold him on my lap... he didn't at first and now he comes to me.
2. The kids are being so super about our new large family. All of the kids are doing well.
Caleb can't wait for R.J. to get home from school. Noah helps Dylan with his homework.
Lexie plays with the girls.
3. Tyson is really a beautiful dog.
4. Sammi and Ann keep calling even though I am so busy.
5. Rexayn is getting remarried and I am so happy for her.
6. James is still working with Dad.
7. Mom and I get to stamp on Thursday.
8. Brian's new job is going well.

Okay... that's it.. I have to get some sleep.
me

My Guy

My dear friend Ann wrote a bunch of very sweet things about her husband Dave. (Hi Ann, hey Dave!) I thought maybe I would write a few things about my guy too.

One of our friends from high school lost her husband this past week. I can't even imagine how she must feel. Truly, unimaginable. So... I will take a moment to share a little about my guy.

How does one begin?? I love Brian because: or perhaps Brian is great because:

hhhhhmmmm

okay... here goes

1. Brian really is funny. Not all of the time and not in front of everyone, but he DOES have a sense of humor that I love.
2. Brian is very smart. Okay... we don't always like to discuss the same topics... but he is very intelligent and I love that about him.
3. He is a really good Dad. Sometimes he is yelly...(not too much) but mostly he is really great with the kids and slightly overprotective. He always has them doing neat things with him in the garage and he wants to help them have the things that they want to have.. that are OKAY for them to have.. but he knows when to say No too. He is a good Dad.
4. Brian is really generous. He totally supports (financially and emotionally) all of my pet projects including when my brothers and their families want to move in!!
5. He is a musician!
6. He is super cute!
7. He thinks I am cute!
8. His faith is strong. He is really involved at church. He shares his faith with his family.
I am really lucky to be married to him.... even all the times he drives me nuts!!
We will have 17 years in August. Wow!

Here is the funniest thing... Brian doesn't read my blog... and won't even know that this is here.
Maybe I will show him.

Oprah as the Anti-Christ

Okay... so Brian says I shouldn't even go there... but here is the deal... Oprah is teaching a class online to bazillions of "viewers". It is very New-agey and very anti-Jesus. It is my understanding, limited though it may be, that she is teaching that there is no sin and no devil and that we should look for the "God" within.

I find this pretty scary for a number of reasons. First of all.... Oprah has been around for 20 years coming into our homes on a daily basis. We know her and accept her. She has come a long way from the "schock and awe" shows. She now does a lot of shows on self improvement and self awareness. Millions and Billions of people love her.

Two, she has power. If Oprah endorses a product it is golden. If she dismisses it... well... I won't say it is doomed to fail but she has had books pulled from the shelves before because of her OPINION of it.

Three... she does lots of "good" things. She really does. She gives away tons of money, she set up the school in Africa, she has the Angel network. How could anyone believe she is not genuine??

Well.... if she is teaches ANYTHING that leads even one person away from Jesus to her new age ideology then she is misguided at the least and oh so possibly so much more. If she were truly Christian... she could be spreading the gospel NOT telling people to be like crystals.. and not bogged down with heavy thinking (or some such nonsense that I read on her website under the first chapter lesson.)
If you are chuckling... stop and think of it.... she has had a long time to be in our consciousness and to gain our trust and to GUIDE people..... She has a responsibility to be worthy of that kind of trust.
I find it very disconcerting!

Okay... enough about that. I will start a new post to talk of other things!

I'm Back... almost

Okay... I am ready to be back blogging after what feels like forever. I think I can get it together enough to be back online.
Possibilities for future blogs:

Oprah as the anti-christ

I am sure there are many more... but I need to write them down as I come to them or else they escape me completely. So.. back to my other work until I can come and share with you.. my faithful and loyal readership of two... three when Joy gets back! ha

6 word biography

Okay... I can't take credit for this... evidently this is the "in" thing right now.. at least that is what one other blogger says... anyhow... the title is self explanatory.

Here is one for me

Family, Faith, Friends, Reading, Stamping;Happiness

Brian might be

Wood, Family, Wood, Faith, Wood, Golf

Noah might be

Always moving, sports, music, computer; exhausting

I will have to work on more.
Made a card tonight. That was fun. Could get some drizzle and ice tomorrow.
more soon.

I am Thankful For:

1. My Faith- it is a true gift
2. Two boys playing with shaving cream in the tub
3. Fresh guacamole and homemade salsa
4. The song "Sundown" by Gordon Lightfoot.

I couldn't even tell you all of the words from the song... but I have a very strong memory of hearing that song one day when I was a young kid (under 7 I would guess) Mom, John and I were going to the Alpena county fair and we were walking in from the parking lot. I remember the sounds of the rides (the diesel engine sound) and hearing that song blaring on the radios of all the fair workers.
We had to step over the big cables on the ground to get to the main walkway. Whenever I hear that song I think of that day and how excited we were. We were GOING TO THE FAIR. That day held such promise and we were so happy. That is what I think of EVERY time I hear that song. I heard it today.

Things I am Thankful For

1. Dylan got moved into a different class that will better meet his needs and I didn't have to make a fuss. (James didn't either.)
2. My friend Trish.
3. Stamping with my Mom.
4. The cabbage salad recipe from Aunt Louise.
5. My brother playing his guitar for me.
6. Sammi who brings movies and books just cause she knows we are sick.
7. blogging
8. Hugs and kisses from ALL 7 children in my house.
9. I actually exercised for 15 minutes. It isn't a lot... but it IS a start.
10. I got to play with Spiderman today.


Today was an interesting day. The girls are both sick. They have this fever virus that also comes with a sore throat. They are fairly miserable. Noah was the only one who went to play practice.
I am doing a lot of cooking and dishes. Still, as you can see, I am very blessed.

Mom and I are trying hard to adapt an attitude of abundance and gratitude. So I will try to actually jot down some concrete "things" I am grateful for. Once you get started... it is really contagious. Radical gratitude. Being truly grateful for your life. Choosing joy and being a yellow chair.

The story of the yellow chair. Thomas Kincade wrote a book about joy that I only started to read. By now I have distorted the story that I did read, but it goes something like this. If you have a yellow chair sitting on your porch, it IS a yellow chair. In different light it may look white or orange depending on the sun and shadow but it still IS a yellow chair.
We can CHOOSE happiness. Even when bad things happen to us... that may effect our circumstances etc... we can STILL choose JOY. We don't have to let circumstances color us or our attitudes.

I always tell my kids... I choose to be a yellow chair. When the kids want to cheer me up... they draw me pictures of a yellow chair. I don't have one yet... but I may paint one very soon.
A visible reminder that JOY can be a conscious choice. Like gratitude.

Whatever life if throwing your way... I hope you have a yellow chair to sit in.
Know that I am thankful for YOU.

Not enough time

It is 10:30 and as part of my "new" schedule I am supposed to be in bed already. I think tonight I may have to stay up until 11:00 to get things done. Dang that artificial light. (from a blog I read that talks about how artificial light has lengthened our days and allows us to work too long!)

Mom, the girls and I are going to Walton Arts Center tomorrow to see Addy an American Girl play. It should be fun. We don't often get to take just the girls. I am taking the boys out to Mom and Dad's in the morning and they will stay with Pop.

I have a whole bit about lent that I want to "discuss".. but that will have to wait until tomorrow.
For tonight I will just say this.... for a long time I have known that we can "choose joy". We can,
we can also train ourselves to be Radically Grateful...(capitalized here because there is a book entitled Radical Gratitude that I want to read.) I want to really and truly work on these two things. I have always been optimistic.(I am a glass half full kind of girl MOSTLY).. I know that I have many blessings... but I want to focus on them more. To put it quite simply... the Pollyanna attitude. But it is even more than that really... it is my hope that if I work on being consciously GRATEFUL then it will become second nature. Gratitude can lead to a feeling of abundance which should then evolve into generosity.

While I do try to be a generous person... we have all met the type of person who IS generous. They don't ACT generously... they just are that way. They are joyful and generous in spirit. They are happy and energized and you feel good around them. That is who I want to be.

Okay... enough. I have more to say but my time is running out and I have to be in bed in 16 minutes and I have to switch over the clothes.
This schedule thing may take a day or two to stick.

My Brother is Coming

My brother is coming... to stay for a while. He is coming with his wife and three kids and they will be staying for a month to six weeks. At first I was a bit stressed about this. I am coming to terms, however, and I think it will be okay. I believe this visit will help me solidify a routine with my own family as that is the only way I think we can make this work. My husband is extremely supportive and optimistic. The kids are becoming okay with the idea. I am planning... on how to make this the best situation possible for everyone. Routine will be key. This could be a very good thing. While I lack self-discipline... I do fine when exterior forces are at work. In other words... if things need to be done.. I get them done. So... an extra family in my house could just be the motivation I need to really do what I need to do.
My brother is coming... with his family. He really can be quite charming when he wants to be. Did I mention tho... that he is bringing his dog??

The picture is of Dylan.. . James' oldest boy.

Let it Snow

We are supposedly in for a snow day. Brian drove my car as it handles better in icy weather.
All of my to-do's have been deliciously post-poned. We wait in eager anticipation for the feathery white flakes to fall from the sky. At youth group we prayed for snow.

So.... let it snow.

The Juggling Act

Hi... It is extremely late and I promised Brian that I would be right there... but here I sit typing out my latest thoughts to you. I was finishing up in the kitchen after making my supper for tomorrow night as I have a fun day planned for tomorrow. A sensible me would have started much earlier. A sensible me wouldn't have spent a day reading (even though it was a good book and I DO need to have it read by Friday for discussion with my Phi's group.) A sensible me would have a routine and would do a better job getting things done. Where or where is the sensible me??

The Super Nanny solves almost every problem with a routine (and a naughty spot). But what I need is a routine. (See my blog on Goals for this year). I know what I NEED to do. So why then, it is so hard to get it done.

Things I need to do:

1. Go to bed on time and get up on time (sounds like something from Nanny McPhee)
2. Exercise (EVERY DAY -not when the mood strikes as it NEVER DOES)
3. Clean a little everyday and not let things pile up
4. Do a little laundry every day and not let things pile up
5. Teach the children
6. Read ahead all of the books that my children are reading so we can discuss them
7. Prepare lessons for the children
8. Provide healthy, well balanced, nutritionally sound meals for my family
9. Be a loving and supportive wife
10. Volunteer at my church

What I DO
1. Stay up too late trying to do all of the things I think I need to do so that I am unable to get up early.
2. Think that I NEED to exercise every day but then talk myself out of it every morning because I am too tired
3. I do clean a little everyday... but just enough to hold back the tide... the kids help and yet the dust bunnies still manage to invade. Too much stuff is partly to blame... but so am I
4. I start laundry all of the time... but then I forget to switch it over... I tend to let it go a day or two and then I have 4 loads (or nine) instead of two.
5. I do teach the children... we do okay... but not in a structured public school kind of way. I am still coming to terms with this
6. I read what I can... skim some and some I just let them tell me... Hey... they are good readers and they outnumber me!
7. Plan lessons??? okay... some, but not nearly enough. I pick GREAT books and use them, then I go with the teachable moment too.
8. ha.. I remember what vegetables are...I REALLY need to make changes here
9. I love... I support.. but I don't get up with him in the morning because I am here with YOU
10. I do volunteer at church... also discussed in another blog... I think I will be cutting back even more for a while.


I can do one or two things okay for a while... then something slides. If we are really doing well with school and the house... then the laundry goes and we eat what we can forage. (I must say... I am quite adept at making a meal out of not much..) Or... if I am really cooking and keeping up with laundry, then something else goes. I can't seem to keep all of the balls in the air.

My sweet mother-in-law would say to let the house go... and sometimes I do.. but the mess drives me insane. I also have somewhat self destructive tendencies in my staying up late to fit in my "me time" activities... blogging, stamping and reading. When I do that...like now.. I will pay for it in the morning.

I lack self discipline. Navy seals have self discipline... I do not. Please tell me others of you struggle with this too. Brian is so good. I am a mess.

Still... I think I can be better. Where there is a will... and all that. So... I plan to make a better plan. My kids have picked up on this too. Bekah has called me on this more than once.. my plan making does not impress her. In fact it somewhat disgusts her I think... still, she is no Navy seal herself. Brian also laughs at my lists... but they work for me and I DO accomplish some of them.
I am definitely a glass half full kind of girl.

Right now I am more than half full.... of a few extra pounds. Weight loss is definitely something I need to do too... but that will have to wait (weight) for another day.

I am SOOOOOOO tired

What fun. Last night my good friend came over with four of her five children to spend the night.
They once lived nearby but have since moved a little over two hours away. We manage to get together once or twice a year for a LONG, LATE night. I am not sure who has more fun, the kids or us "girls". We stay up way too late (until 4:30 this morning) talking and then have to get up with the kids who always seem to be up early no matter how late we let them stay up!!

In addition to our eight... we had another two children to stay over too bringing our total to 10 children. I am so impressed with Moms who manage that many every day. After having "extras" around I always feel like someone is missing with just my own 4.

You may have noticed my new layout. My friend JOYOUS... told me how to get a new template and I am happy to say I did it without help from my DH.

There are tons of templates to choose from.... but I thought this one looked like me. If I could only stamp around the edges it would be perfect.

I know this is short... but I only got about 5 hours of sleep last night and I was up late and early the night before as well. It is a lot harder for me to recover from lack of sleep than it once was. That is not so subtle code for "I am getting older!"

We discussed possible college choices for my friends oldest last night... wasn't I just there myself? Times sure does fly... so enjoy every minute.
Sherri

Happy Birthday Daddy

Okay... I usually blog late at night, but we just got home from a lovely dinner at Mom and Dad's . Daddy turned 65 today. So...I think I will just post one picture and I will write again tomorrow.
This picture is from My birthday I think.

My Boys

Okay... I REALLY like sitting here and pondering whatever takes my fancy. I have always wanted a captive audience to write to. But.... tonight I am just learning how to navigate this blog and I am going to post some pictures of my beautiful boys. So... no brilliant thoughts, just pictures of some of my best work. Do you recognize Indiana Jones and his father?? What about Noah in his new glasses?? Pretty cute right??

What are we called to do?

In Siloam they call it ministry. Whatever your area of volunteer work is really a type of ministry.
In the Catholic church they call it a vocation. With all groups there is much talk about what you are CALLED to do. What are we CALLED to do???

I am not really sure. I know that I love kids. I love my own kids. I love all kids really. I really love to teach. Is this my calling??? I am a pretty decent story lady. I can run a good VBS. (with my friend Joy) I was not so great at administration though. I was running our entire religious ed program for a while and to tell you the truth I HATED the paperwork. I can do it... but I don't like to do it and so I didn't enjoy it and I didn't do it all that well. I believe that supporting your staff is important and I hope I did that.. but there were many things that were less than perfect under my direction.

Right now I am the Youth Director of our parish. I don't think this is my CALLING. Why??
Well... because the kids drive me nuts. The same kids that I profess to love.. and really they are great kids but they drive me crazy. I feel OBLIGATED to continue because up til now no one has shown even the slightest interest in keeping out group going. That can't be a calling then can it??

What is your calling?? your passion?? though I don't think the two are necessarily the same unless I am performing some type of ministry by reading and stamping.. ha ha! That (reading and stamping) are my passions and teaching and learning too. I am really lucky that I get to do that with my kids.
My kids... I think that is my calling. Raising these four wonderful beings that God has blessed me with. Pray that I will have the wisdom and patience to guide them and help them to be the people God intends them to be. Hopefully, by doing that, I am becoming who HE wants me to be too.

Technology

I watched a program on T.V. tonight about modern technology and its effects on our children. The article warned the public about myspace and facebook and about how our children are spending too much time on the computer. The reporters discussed how easy it is for kids to cheat now and explained the dangers of cyber bullies.

I don't disagree with the article. I can very easily see the dangers that are present. In fact, I plan to watch even more closely what my kids do online. I also want to continue to limit their online and computer time in general. They already have to earn their time... but I have let it slide a little.

No, my question is?? what about me? Is my blogging the same thing? True, this is a more passive pursuit. Me reading blogs is just reading, right?? but composing a blog? Isn't this like a myspace account?? I can tell all about myself and post pictures etc... is there a difference?

Is there a difference?? I am trying to discern. Well, for one thing, I am not open to the public. In fact, as of this writing, only one person has the address to this blog... Hi Ann! Up til now I have been writing with the sole purpose of writing just for me. I am going to give out the address to a few friends and they will be able to read, if they choose to, my rambling thoughts. They can look at pictures. However, I am not seeking new friends through my blog and that does seem to be a real purpose for the other type of accounts.

What was extremely concerning to me was the type of pictures that these kids were posting (very provacative and in states of semi- undress) Certainly you won't see that on my blog!
The article went on to discuss the amount of time the students were spending online. I do have a life and much to do, but I do know I can easily get lost online reading my favorites and writing my own blog.

What interesting food for thought. Blogging vs. my space... moms and kids. All good or all bad or somewhere in between. It is late and I must close but I will continue to ponder this topic.
Sherri

I found them

Relief... I found my blogs. Actually, they weren't that hard to find. Google is truly amazing.
I just googled them and there they were... waiting to be read by me. I feel better.
I love to read the four I read. One gal is SUCH a good writer. It is just interesting to hear about her journey. One gal is just cynical. Her wit is RAZOR sharp... and sometimes not to my taste, however, I still check her out. The other two are friends and I will always check in on them. So..there you go.

I have to go and get ready for Wednesday night. We have PRE and Youth Group tonight.
Plus Katie has gymnastics..so we go for several hours. I have to finish my cards tonight for our swap tomorrow night... but maybe I will tell you about my amazing time-line that I constructed.
til then,
me

I need my BLOGS

Okay... here's the deal pickles... Brian just switched over our internet and erased all of my bookmarks and now I can't get my daily blogs in. I found Ann's-- thank goodness.. but I can't find Trish's and I can't find my Catholic girl blogs either. I need a daily dose.
Arrggh
Sherri

New Year-- New Goals

The year is 2008 and this is a year for change. Well, I actually said that at the start of the school year... but I am holding to it in this new year too. I have always been an optimist. I am definitely a glass half full kinda gal... but unfortunately, I don't always stick to my new plan, schedule, routine, etc... I am a planner, a dreamer and I can always see the possibilities. However, putting these thoughts into actions isn't always as easy as it first appears. Still,,, a friend of mine told me recently, laughingly, that she loved that I was such a dreamer and planner, because even if I didn't accomplish EVERYTHING I set out to do... my dreams are so big...that doing some is not all bad.

I just reread this small paragraph and realized I am a walking/writing if you will/ contradiction. I am talking about the year of change and then complaining about not being able to maintain or KEEP THE SAME routine. What you need to know then is that actually sticking to a routine would be a change. HA

It is way to late for me to be doing this so I will close. By the way... this picture has absolutely nothing to do with what I was talking about but aren't my girlies gorgeous??

Goodnight.
Sherri